“French kissing.”

Here’s a little story about a guy I went out with who was either A) a serial killer or B) a virgin. My friend’s bf seems to think the former. We had the typical match.com interaction. He said hi,he was cute so I said hi, yada yada. We talked for a few days on there, and then he asked for my number. He was nice, so I said sure. We texted non-stop for almost a week. We had a first date set up, but he decided that he couldn’t wait that long to meet me, so we set up a date sooner, and said the Friday plans were our second date.

He really did seem nice. Didn’t ask the usual perverted questions from jump. He did ask the dreaded, “How many guys have you slept with?” question. Never a good thing to ask. I said more than one, less than 200, because I will never answer that question honestly unless I need to. We were not at that point. He said 4. I think he may have fibbed with that one…

Another thing that should have halted me in my tracks was when he told me he didn’t really go to concerts. I spend all my money on concerts and sports. He told me the last concert he went to was an American Idol concert years ago with an ex-gf… That doesn’t even count, and why in the world would you admit that to me??

We talked non-stop and he even dealt with my drunk dialing after a concert. And I don’t even think I was coherent. After this, he told me he didn’t drink. *record scratch* Why not? “I just don’t like it.” I pressed for an answer, because even though I’m not out raging all night anymore, I still like to have fun. He never did give a good answer. So now I knew at dinner, he wouldn’t be ordering a drink, so do I order one? Will he think I’m a lush? I decided not to order one, even though he said he had no problem with me drinking.

I was still pretty into him, he was really sweet. I actually had butterflies, something I rarely get, the night we met. We went to dinner at a halfway point between our towns at a generic chain restaurant. Dinner was good, the conversation was great. He told me that my pictures didn’t do me justice and that he thought I was amazing. All nice things to hear.

Then the check came. I half heartedly offered to pay, knowing he wouldn’t accept it. This is where I should have hit the brakes… He decided to give a 14% tip. I said, absolutley not. I have friends in the service industry, that shit is insulting. After kind of arguing back and forth a bit, he met me half way at 18%. However, he made it seem like a really big deal, when I just didn’t want the waiter to think we were assholes. He accused me of thinking he was cheap. I kept my mouth shut and moved on to the next topic. We sat in the restaurant for 3 hours, talking, flirting, getting to know each other. It was going really well.

We left the restaurant, and went to sit on a picnic bench. Ended up making out. Then he walked me to my car, carrying my left overs. We then made out for another 2 hours against my car, like teenagers. We parted ways, and he texted me on his way home, saying he couldn’t wait to see me again that Friday night for dinner and a movie. He also said, and I quote, “I love french kissing you. I never do that on a first date. But that was so hot I couldn’t resist.” FRENCH KISSING?!?!!? I legit lol’ed at that one. This poor boy was not ready to do grown up things if he was referring to making out as french kissing. It was so bizarre. I felt like I was in middle school. And this guy was a year older than me!

So date number one with, let’s call him Jack, was in the books, and he was into me so I decided to still see him again. But that’s a story for next time…




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